#change

It’s a beautiful {and cold} New Year’s Day morning in Japan. What a great way to start 2015 by waking up early, working out, and having breakfast and coffee all before sunrise! I’ve never been one for New Year’s Resolutions but this year it seems appropriate. I’ve been through so many changes since being in Japan most of them have been in 2014. Change is never easy but it makes us stronger. Especially in last few months I have stepped out of my comfort zone by starting a blog, becoming a Beachbody Coach, and sharing my life on Instagram almost daily! So for 2015 I want to keep changing, keep pushing, keep growing stronger everyday, mentally, physically, emotionally… you name it! For so long I was just stuck. I blamed my unhappiness on my circumstances rather than taking action and changing how I handled those circumstances. I had to CHOOSE to be happy. I’ve learned that you can’t control everything and when things don’t go the way you hoped those are the times that you need to run to God and put your hope in Him. He may be using your circumstances to grow you and prepare you for something great! So for my New Year’s Resolution I want to just remember to live in the moment. Take each day one at a time and just realize no matter what may come I am blessed beyond measure. Here’s to 2015 and making it my best year yet! Happy New Year!

The before picture was taken about 1.5 years ago. There’s a difference of about 15-20 pounds but I still have a long way to go. This transformation is more than just physical. I have battled not only my weight but adjustment disorder as well. My adjustment disorder started shortly after moving to Japan over 5 years ago. I experienced culture shock that never really went away. For years I experienced feelings of depression (a symptom of adjustment disorder, not diagnosed clinical depression). I remember when it started. I stopped smiling and laughing. When I did laugh or smile, it was only for show. Then came the tears… Endless amounts of tears. When crying wasn’t enough to release my pain, I started to turn to food for comfort. Nothing I did would take away the pain I felt from being away from everyone and everything I knew and loved. I did not feel comfortable, not even in my own house. Even though I was with my husband, to me, I did not have a home and I did not belong in Japan. I felt alone, isolated, and hopeless. It has been the darkest time of my life.

During my time in Japan, I also had two baby boys. Pregnancy and breastfeeding certainly had their own demands and effects on my body. After being in Japan for 4 years and with 2 left to go I finally sought help. That is when things slowly started improving for me. I started feeling more like myself and in time I started loving myself again. I started to care about my body and the food I put in it. Then I started adding in exercise, some of which were Beachbody programs. I found out that I love lifting because of ChaLEAN Extreme and developed a love-hate relationship with Shaun T because of Insanity. Then came 21 Day Fix and Les Mills Pump and Combat! I fell in love with working out again and though I have still have a long way to go, I have lost 20 pounds from my highest non-pregnancy weight so far and I’m proud of myself. I’m pursuing a healthy lifestyle and now I am a better wife, mom, and a better ME because of it!

Don’t be afraid to change. Change and the ability to accept change AND even pursue change is what makes us stronger!